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13 March 2012 @ 06:46 am
The Nine Lives of Stiles Stilinski Oneshot: "The Catnip Scandal"  
Series: The Nine Lives of Stiles Stilinski
Chapter Title: The Catnip Scandal
Part: 1/1
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters/Pairings: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale, Scott McCall/Allison Argent, Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All characters depicted in sexual situations in this post/fanfiction/fanart (including material in the comments) are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent in the United States, regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.
Summary: This? This was all Scott's fault.
Warnings: un-betaed. Silliness ensues. Takes place sometime between The Nine Lives of Stiles Stilinski and How Scared I Was.

This? This was all Scott's fault.


At first it was just a joke. Scott, Allison and he were all sitting at the local greasy spoon, chatting and snacking on fries. Allison kept dabbing hers in mustard and that seemed to offend Scott's ketchup-only sensibilities.

“So, if you're a cat now...” Scott trailed off, his eyes glued to the mustard that Allison daubed her fry into. Stiles had to snap his fingers in front of his face to get him going again. “Does that mean that you go crazy over catnip?”

Scott gave a mischievous sort of smile and Allison rolled her eyes, but looked to Stiles for the answer anyway. Stiles snorted and leaned back on his side of the booth. “Do you have a sudden need to fetch the newspaper for me?”

He leaned forward, his eyes lighting up as he propped his elbows on the table around his plate. “Or maybe it's more your thing to pee on fire hydrants.”

Allison tried not to giggle, but she didn't hide it very well. Scott looked a bit offended, but more at Allison having laughed rather than the joke itself. She was a good sport and shrugged, speaking softly. “What? It was funny.”

Scott put his feet up on the bench seat next to Stiles. “Seriously, though. What if it's like your wolfsbane?”

He just ate another fry slathered in ketchup before he answered. “I think I would have noticed by now. I don't exactly go coocoo for cocoa puffs every time I pass by Mrs. Shirley's place. She grows some in her garden.”

Scott seemed to accept that and move on to bigger and better things like what the line up for movies was next Saturday night. Stiles was tempted to drag out The Notebook again just for the Jackson abuse.


He really should have known better. He should have at least been suspicious about Scott having dropped the subject so easily that day in the diner. But he hadn't been and now? Now he was paying for it.


Two days after the promptly forgotten jokes in the diner, Scott asked for a ride to work since it was storming out. Stiles agreed, but immediately got asked to help out by holding onto the cats as Scott cleaned the cages. Apparently they didn't like Scott going anywhere near them (which Stiles was almost willing to bet was just an excuse). Stiles helped out, complaining that he should be getting paid for it. He didn't get that this was just a test run.


So he hadn't realized that him helping with the cats was Scott being curious about putting him close to catnip toys. So sue him. He fucking realized it now.


When Derek had come to pick him up from school, insisting that they go grab something to eat together only to arrive home and find the pack lounging around, Stiles should have been worried. Instead, he just ended up getting everyone to toss a football around in the back yard. Derek ended up grilling a really late dinner for the pack. Still, Stiles hadn't thought about anything possibly going awry. It had been a perfectly good day and the pack was going to crash there for a all night movie marathon. It all went to hell when Stiles went to change from the jeans he'd been wearing all day to plaid pajama pants.

He noticed something weird when he entered the room—it smelled strangely sweet yet spicy at the same time. It felt familiar, but he just shrugged and crossed to the dresser, intent on getting back out there before the movie actually started. With every breath it smelled a bit more enticing, but he was able to change into the more comfortable clothes before his curiosity got the better of him. The scent came from the bed—how had he not noticed it before? It was so strong, he should have noticed it once he walked in the door. He licked his lips and climbed on the bed with the thought being that he would figure out why it smelled the way it did, and then go watch the movie.

He ducked his head, bringing his nose right up close to the source of the smell. He tossed the blanket aside, not even mindful of his claws—when had they come out anyway?—his tongue darting out to catch the little buds of plant matter on the sheets. All thoughts were stopped by then, and he turned over, flopping to roll around in what was probably the best smell in the world. His nerves felt like they were on fire and he had the energy of a hyperactive kid.

When Derek opened the door Stiles jumped practically a foot in the air, whipping around to face him with wide eyes and a somewhat guilty expression. Derek went from puzzled to angry in the span of a heartbeat. Derek growled, “Scott!”


It took forty-five minutes for the feeling to wear off, during which time Lydia broke out the feather duster and tried to get Stiles to play with it. He didn't, just to be clear, and Derek took it away pretty quickly anyway. Derek stripped the bed and remade it, grumbling about Scott being an idiot the entire time. Stiles kept glaring at him for the prank, even though it had been harmless it was still humiliating. Allison seemed to take pity on him, even if Lydia and Jackson just seemed to think it was funny. The rest of the night Stiles just curled up in Derek's body heat and tried to forget all about it and how they'd all seen him acting that way.
Current Location: gaming computer :3
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: Boy Eats Drum Machine{La La La La LA!}
thefrozenheart: teen wolf -> stiles - toy gunthefrozenheart on March 13th, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
This probably made me laugh a lot more than it was intend XD I was just recently searching about this plant and it's effects on cats and while reading this I could perfectly picture Stiles reacting like a super excited kitty and it's hilarious!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Lavi's Boots, Obito's Goggles & Draco's Smile™: stilesKatzefotoshop_cutout on March 14th, 2012 01:24 am (UTC)
Hehehe! Glad you enjoyed it! ♥
thefrozenheart: stock -> doh!thefrozenheart on March 14th, 2012 01:42 am (UTC)
*intended and *its effects Doh! Please forgive my stupidity *blush*

And I did enjoyed it, a lot <3 You're awesome!
Lavi's Boots, Obito's Goggles & Draco's Smile™: stilesKatzefotoshop_cutout on March 14th, 2012 11:02 am (UTC)
Bahaha that's alright, I corrected it as I read it. :P

♥ Yay!
charlie_jae on March 16th, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
Poor Stiles he should get free reign on punching Scott. This was a nice lite side to this verse. Totally enjoyed it.
Lavi's Boots, Obito's Goggles & Draco's Smile™: stilesKatzefotoshop_cutout on March 17th, 2012 07:05 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad that it went over well :3